Tweet Now many of you may read this title and say, "What is she talking about, she has a boyfriend?"
This is the point I cue the music
Now, I dont blog about my personal life, so please don't quite give up your daytime soap opera or reality tv addiction, quite yet. However, I have been back dating in Africa for nearly three weeks and I must say, its has been an interesting experience. One that has to be shared with the masses. So, I figured I would share some of the lessons I have learned.
Lesson 1: Everybody Wants Something
When I first came to Africa, I thought I was a catch, and I am. Unfortunately, not for the reasons I predicted. You see, here, I have learned men like me for three specific reasons: 1) They think I can get them into the United States. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard, "Oh, I would love to go to America one day!" As if I am fairy dressed up in an welcome to America T-shirt, waving my magical American flag ushering them into the country. 2) They have been watching some sketchy American film and feel I will act out their wildest fantasy. "Have you ever had a threesome?" Hmmm, when did this become an appropriate first date question? I never feel the need to reply, I just sit there in uncomfortable silence, letting them think about how stupid they just sounded. 3) They think I am an heiress. Now it amazes me how people still feel that most Americans are rich; despite our sinking economy. Of course, they never really say this out loud, but they make small talk about how great life is for Americans. That's right, I am an example of the American dream- Unemployed, 7 months strong.
Lesson 2: Everyone Here is Married, Even if They Say They Aren't
Everyday, I get hit on, and everyday, out of the 5 men that hit on me, 4.5 are married. The .5 means his wife is abroad in another country. Now, here in Ghana some men wear wedding bands and some don't, it just depends on if their wife brought them one or not. However, regardless of the ring, they are so comfortable hitting on you and telling you the latest woes of their marriage. Some will even bring the children around to meet you, showcasing them like its Feed the Children Time. If only you knew, I'm not into other people's children.
Lesson 3: If They Spend Money on You, You Are Their Girlfriend
Dating in a developing country is different. Wages are low and cost of living is high, so many men feel that if they take you out then they are your boyfriend. Now, some men will contest this and say they belong to a different class, they have lived abroad and don't have this mentality. I applaud the two of you that there are in Ghana. I have learned it exists across all income brackets. You see here in Ghana, where love in so easily purchased, men believe that once they start taking you out to dinner, its a deal in the bag. Boo, I'll buy my own meal, especially if it means that you are going to call me 25 times in 24 hours. Which brings me to Lesson 4.
Lesson 4: Don't Give Out Your Number Unless You Want to Be Stalked
In Ghana, if you give out your number, you are giving a man permission to call you all the time. Literally, early morning, mid-day, lunch, mid-afternoon, evening calls, mid-evening calls-- I'm sure you get the point. I often wonder if they have an alarm that goes off, alerting them 5 minutes has passed and its time to call again. It's funny though, if you don't pick up they phone they become offended, like they are paying for your minutes. Now, I see why caller id is so important. Thank God, for the simple technology that makes life so much easier.
Until next time- Smooches