Thursday, August 25, 2011

Where the Hell Are the Biscuits

Don't be fooled, at night, Club KFC is lit up and crowded.
The first time I saw that luminous bucket of chicken hanging over Oxford Street in Accra, I had just finished a meal at one of my favorite restaurants, who also ,coincidentally, claims to have finger lickin chicken. At first, I was unsure if it was really a Kentucky Fried Chicken. The KFCs I know are contained to small one story buildings, however, this building was three stories, had neon lights in the window and was lit up like it was a swanky three star restaurant.

However a few weeks later, the long lines and crowded lobby assured me, KFC had come to Ghana. Now KFC in Ghana is a big deal, because it is their first international franchise to break ground, so of course, people are flocking to KFC like its the hottest night club in the country.

Not wanting to fall prey to the franchise, I swore I wasn't going to eat there, and trust me, it wouldn't have been a hard feat. As many people know, my father owned a Church's chicken when I was growing up, so I have never gained an affinity for the Colonel's chicken, but then I thought about the biscuits. That's right, those flaky buttermilk biscuits, which are found nowhere in Ghana. So I struck out, only to really strike out.

Upon arriving, I realized, KFC doesn't sell biscuits outside of the States. It was a typical American blunder, pushing my culture upon others. But damn, I really wanted those biscuits. I started to turn around, but the greedy crowd behind me made that almost impossible, so instead I ordered the Colonel's meal, which consists of two pieces of chicken and fries....that's right there wasnt even a Coke; I had to buy my own. The total cost GHC 9, about $7 USD. Are you thinking what I am thinking.....That's too damn much!

So while I sat there, picking off the skin of my chicken, letting the grease slide down my throat and wishing I had buttermilk biscuits,  I did  make some interesting observations.
Second floor view.

First, Ghanians have yet to develop the concept of a line. Instead of a single, straight line, they crowd around like they are in the market, blocking the registers and the front of the store in general. It is up to you to figure out what is going on and how to proceed to get your service. KFC should definitely consider a sign, that says, Please wait your turn in line and after you have ordered please move to the side. If not, there will be a good amount of American tourists huddled in the back, starving and unsure of how to proceed to the register.

Two, KFC wants to make Ghanians fat. Upon ordering my food, I was offered an upgrade to a large fry for an extra 50 peswas...enough said. Obviously their Ministry of Health has learned nothing from their Western counterparts and wants to encourage gluttony at its highest level. Maybe people will opt to work off the calories by walking to the third floor...maybe.

The toilet was the highlight of my KFC trip
Three, all the fat Ghanaians know about KFC. Since moving to Ghana, I have realized that many Ghanaians are not fat, even if they are "thick".  Only a small percentage of them would be considered obese. Funny, how 40% of them were eating in KFC the day I went. Why, oh why?!?!?! Maybe the KFC, just gave them the confidence they needed to eat their grease openly. 

The one good thing about the KFC is they had a miniature shower in each stall..almost like a hand bidet. Yes, that was the highlight. So in conclusion, I wont be going back and I hope you won't either.

Until Next Time. Smooches.

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