Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Things That Make You Go Hmmmmmmm

As most people know, Africa is not known for having the most reliable media. In fact, they often still struggle with distinguishing opinion from fact. But hey, who am I to complain. I enjoy seeing stories about ju-ju man that has been arrested for casting a spell on his neighbor or the million and one stories about corrupt preachers. It's like reading the Onion, except its real news- imagine that!

However, every now and then, I am alarmed at the lies spread in the paper. So, when I ran across a paper that had "Oral Sex Risky", plastered on the front page, I just had to pick it up. Inside, it cautioned men from giving oral sex to women due to the high risk of getting candidiasis in their throat. Since most of my friends are lawyers and not doctors, let me translate- candidiasis is a yeast infection. Now, this is the point that I replay the many experiences of my friends- both male and female, and though there have been a few horror stories, candidiasis of the throat has never been one of them. In fact, I think this article is a complete lie. It's not like I don't think it can't happen, I am sure it does. I just happen to think the odds are like 1 in 1 million.

I was also alarmed because there are never any articles cautioning women against giving oral sex to men, I wonder why this is. I mean, in real life, I don't.  I know articles like these exist because Africa is still a male dominated society. I'm sure the doctor who has done the research brings this point up to all of his girlfriends at the beginning of a relationship.

In fact, I am sure he and his colleagues sat around and concocted the story after the incessant nagging of their wives and women on the side. After all, what better way to get out of a sexual act than a medical excuse. I can hear them now, " I would baby, but you know that I can get throat cancer or a yeast infection  *Sidenote: Yes, many Ghanaian men will tell you that oral sex gives you throat cancer. Fortunate for women, God has made them immune......

I guess it goes to show, women have a long way before they are really equal.

Until Next Time. Smooches.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Ready for My Closeup

Fortunately, I grew up during a time when the arts wasn't under attack in public schools. As a result, I was exposed to a wide variety of music programs and instruments at an early stage in life. I ended up choosing to play the viola in the fourth grade and continued to play until I was in my freshman year of highschool. I probably would have kept going, but not only was orchestra not cool, we were totally underfunded, and while the band got to go on awesome field trips the highlight of playing in the orchestra was getting to go to the old folks' home. Whoopee!! So I shed the viola and picked up choir and even participated in the school musical, Little Shop Of Horrors.

Yeah, me and the guitar are a sexy pair
All of these experiences led to me truly appreciate music, and not the trash that is on the radio today.So when I moved to Africa I decided to pick up the acoustic guitar, an instrument I have always wanted to play over the years. Over the past eight weeks I have become fairly good, I can play a few songs and I have written a few songs as well. It also happens, that I am lucky to take guitar lessons from a well-known Ghanaian musician, who often entertains other top-notch Ghanaian musicians. One of these people, recently happened to be the conductor of the Pan African Orchestra.

It just so happens he shows up at the beginning of my lesson so he and a few other friends sat quietly as I went through my regular songs and routines. At the end, he says he is working on a vocal part for the orchestra and he would thinks I would fit well and he wants me to join. Who would have thunk it. At first I thought about saying no, but I figured hell why not.

So, my first performance is Novermber 17th at the British Consul. Hopefully, there will be video which I will, of course, share.

Until Next Time. Smooches.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Showing My Ass

I believe in dressing appropriately for all situations. Although, I will admit, I typically am a little bit more stylish and risque with my dress, I still try to adapt to the situation. That is why for my beach day yesterday, I chose to wear an adorable black wrap dress. This black wrap dress has always been a favorite beach wear item, because it transfers so easily from beach to dinner and, since its black, there is never a noticeable wet stain on my ass, which some people may mistake for an unfortunate drinking accident.

Now, I pretty much refuse to go to the beach in Accra due to the high level of pollution. I have never seen so much plastic surfing in on waves in my entire life. In fact, if I didnt know any better, I would think plastic is made in the ocean in Accra.  I also definitely think its possible to drown, even on the shore here- all it takes is an unfortunate attack of plastic bags. I imagine it being like the bird that gets caught in the six pack ring- scary thought, at least for me.

So I personally hike about an hour outside of Accra to go to Krokroibte- also known as the rasta beach. Although some of you may think you know my reason for choosing the spot you are wrong. I go there because its free, uncrowded and unpolluted. The only downfall is the trip there. If you take a taxi it is 20 cedis if you trotro its 1 cedi- of course, I tro-trod, which was great for my wallet but not my wardrobe choice.

Perfect for the beach, but not the trotro
Unfortunately, this dress doesnt have much bending room, so once my spine arches three inches you can clearly see under the dress. Why didnt I think about that before I left the house. To make it worse, it seemed at every time we stopped, it was the person next to me getting off. You know what this means, I was showing my bikini bottom every 5 minutes to the last three row of seats.

Fortunately, it made the men very enthusiastic to make sure I got off at the right stop. I have a funny feeling though, that they were looking forward to the finale.

Until the Next Time. Smooches.

Monday, October 17, 2011

I's Free Now

Those are exactly the words I said to myself as my eyes opened at 6 am. Today is the first day when I am back to living my life and building my empire and damn it feels good. For the first time in three weeks, I control how my time is being spent. I can do my research, attend necessary meetings and feel the sun beaming on my face when I please.

Of course, I am catching up for three weeks of lost time. Really, seven. I must admit, when I found out I got the job, my daily schedule was nothing more but watching old school cartoons and intermittent naps. Let this be a lesson to all that progress should always be constant and never thrown off track. But those afternoon naps, were refreshing.

So, now since I have more leisure time, look forward to more and exciting blogs. I know you missed it, or at least, I did. And we know these blogs are really all about me. That's why I have added the George Michael video. Freedom people, ahhh its sweet.

Until Next Time. Smooches.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

15 Days of Hell

15 days in and I hate my job. When I wake up in the morning, my chest is heavy and I am already stressed about what the day may hold. It takes up too much of my time and the people, well, they really are assholes.  In fact, the other day I said "God, please let them fire me", and, today, they did.

That's right folks after 15 days of working for the US government abroad I got canned for not having my resident permit. Most people would probably be devastated, but me, Im not. Its ok, because I hated it. I remember reading a blog a few months ago,  about a girl who wished to be fired and was. She thought it was a lesson of the power of the tongue and how you can speak negative things into your life. I look at it like an answer to my prayers.

I believe that every prayer we say has a deeper origin than us. It comes from some little seed that has been planted somewhere along the way and, when it blossoms, it is always a flower and never a weed. So in this instance, I will take a moment of silence- truly just a moment, and then move forward. Because over the years I have come to learn that a door never closes without a window opening.

Plus, I really, really hated that damn job.

Until Next Time. Smooches

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

You're a Jerk, As it was told to me

They often say that when you dont like someone, its because they have qualities very similar to yours. I have found, over the years, that this is true. The traits I find less than desirable about myself, are even less desirable for those I interact with. So when I started this job and found myself quickly agitated by a temporary staffer and I had to ask why? After all, she is only here for another 10 days (brief pause for a praise dance), but yet still, as we say in the South, this woman makes my ass itch!

So as I found myself wanting to bitch slap her for coming to my cubicle yesterday, I had to wonder why is it I dislike her so much and then an ex-boss' words ran through my head, "People think you are a jerk."

You see at 27 I learned I was a jerk. Of course, I had had a sneaking suspicion for years, but this was the first time someone had ever had the balls to tell me. Now let me clarify, I was not a jerk because I purposefully mistreated people, I was a jerk because I thought I was smarter than everyone else. Not only did I think I was smarter, but I also didnt know what team work was. At that time, teamwork for me was developing a project and presenting it to people for feedback, but for some reason noone ever had any feedback. Then I learned why. In teamwork, you dont keep all the information and develop a project by yourself and then ask for feedback- you get the feedback first and then make a product. People are always more interested when they feel a sense of true collaboration- after all, who wants to look bad.

Fortunately, I had someone who was willing to tell me that I sucked. It's unfortunate that this woman has not had the same; especially since retirement is soon upon least I am hoping for future co-workers' sake.

In the meanwhile, as the work day wraps up, let me put one more X on the calendar. 9 days to go *sigh*

Until Next Time. Smooches.