Friday, May 25, 2012

Things White People Do When They Come to Africa

 Although, some of the items on this list can be applied to all countries in Africa, certain things appear to be Ghana specific. If you are the type to be easily offended or get your panties in a bunch, please close the screen now. However, if you have an awesome sense of humor, please move to item number 1.

1.Take African Drum and/or Dance Lessons- That’s right the strong vibrations and excited steps of African drumming and dancing has attracted everyone, even the rhythm less. Therefore, it is not uncommon to hear the sound of an offbeat foreign drummer and observe their offbeat jerking and convulsing. But hey, the important thing is that both those watching and participating are having fun. Don’t expect them all to fail though; every now and then, someone with a ¼ blood will show up and show out.

2. Pay 10X More for Products: I am never amazed at how much white folks are willing to pay for the simplest trinkets. It’s like everything has extra value because they have purchased it straight from Africa. And God forbid it is a kid or an elderly person selling it, it becomes a must have item, at all costs. I always wonder what their expression is when they realize that the boy the next street over is selling the same item for half the price.

3. Have a Village Experience- For all intents and purposes; let’s just say the village is synonymous with the ghetto, and, for some reason, white people insist on having a village experience. They will go into the slums of a foreign city and indulge in all the forbidden fruits that lead to runny stomach and stolen merchandise, without worry. Yet I have a feeling that if they were back home and encountered a “village” situation they would they be locking their car doors and crossing the street to avoid contact, not sitting at a local pub buying everyone drinks.

 4.Date A Rasta- This behavior is really a result of Number 3. It is inevitable that on a village experienc a white person will discover some indigenous beauty and as a result, get some indigenous booty.  Unfortunately, all gainfully employed, well-educated and traveled African men need not apply. The white foreign woman is more interested in the man who sleeps on a floor mat and needs her financial support. But then again, I am sure she is not looking for anything permanent anyways…at least I hope not.

5.Get Their Hair Braided- No trip to Africa, or Caribbean nation, is complete until a white woman gets her hair braided. Nothing like seeing a 90 pound girl with 10 pounds of weave in her hair to remind you of the beauty of black hair.

6. Adopt Children- The new trendy accessory, an African baby is a must have for the progressive white family. No, all jokes aside, I actually think this is ok. As long as they can keep the baby’s hair greased and slap some lotion on that baby’s legs when its ashy, I have no objections. There are plenty of children in Africa that are seeking and deserve good homes.
7. Give Up Good Hygiene- I have noticed the longer a white person stays in Ghana, the less they care about their hygiene. Anyone who stays for over 90 days, and has not secured steady employment, will more than likely go down to having three outfits, showering every other day and washing their hair only in an extreme emergency. Hell, you might even catch them bathing at a public urinal.
8. Smell Their Food Before Eating- It never fails that if a local dish is placed in front of a white person they will shamelessly bend their back and smell the food; committing one of the most taboo acts in African society. And, God, forbid it’s a sandwich or meat, then they just put it right up to their nose.I guess someone should tell them you cant smell runny tummy until it comes out of the human body.

9. Get House Help- Wait, never mind most of them of had it before.

10. Fall in Love- It never fails that once a white person has come to Africa, they will fall in love with it. They will start non-profits, get friends to donate to a local village and even quit their jobs to become volunteers; all for the love of Africa. But hey, who can blame them? It is a great place.

3 comments:

  1. I am a Black Female American who went to Kenya in 2007, and I promise you - all I think about is getting back to Africa. African trying to get to America and people who visit Africa want to go back to live or visit again. The simplity of Africa is what I love, don't get me wrong I love my bathrooms and the comfort of America living. But I realize all those things I have - mean nothing, if I can't share it. So I am moving to Ghana 2013 hopefully, and I am praying - How can I serve Ghana? Not how can Ghana serve me. It would be a great world if all God's people could live equally the same. I wish we could stop the killing and stealing all over the world. It shouldn't matter who we are or where we come from - we should love and take care of each other. My people this is called - REAL LOVE!

    P.S. Oh yes, when I tell people from America, I want to move to Africa - they say silly things like - you going to live in the jungle or some other silly thing they know nothing about, but only have seem on TV or what they think they know. I have to remind them Africa has big cities just like anywhere else. :)

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  2. I am not African, black or African American, I am Latin@ but I would really love to send this to all the ignorant white people I know that are thinking or have gone to Africa to "fall in love" or "save Africans." I can think of a few I met after college that don't even have one black homie here in the states, aye white people... I think white people who travel to "exotic lands" is a form of modern colonization. They are usually upper middle class to middle class trust fund hippies with progressive bourgeoisie politics so naive they believe everything they hear, they refuse to see racism because their privilege, they are rapidly gentrifying brown peoples neighborhoods, they don't dare go into black neighborhoods here...they do yoga with a white instructor!!! who thinks they are are from India, they smuge my peoples sage because they think it makes them more like us... White people, check yoself and quit being a wack as colonizer!

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    1. Don't get caught up in the same ignorance as "the whites" you condemn. Its a matter of people and raised culture, it has nothing to do with ethnicity. Seeing ones self as separate makes it worse. Ignorance is everywhere, share love with your brethren of any color.

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